Life in the church is countercultural by God’s design, including the gathering of old and young alike in the one assembly of the saints. We naturally default to relating with people who look like us. Hence the prevalence of identity politics and tribalism. The Lord has a different plan. Friendship between old and young is how God keeps his people faithful to him. Listen to Asaph’s perspective in Ps 78:5-7 as he describes God’s purpose for multigenerational relationships.

“He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments.”

The joy of remaining faithful to God hinges on answer several questions correctly:

Who are you going to trust? (Will you “set your hope” in God or someone else?)
Why should you trust God? (Will you “forget” or remember the works of God?)
How are you going to trust God? (Will you “keep” his commandments or not?)

Asaph warns we will not make any of those decisions correctly absent the wisdom and encouragement of those who have gone before us. We need older Christians to speak of “the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done” (v. 4), chief among them the truth and implications of the gospel. He is not encouraging older people merely to talk about their life experiences. He is exhorting those who are older to communicate the gladsome truth of God as revealed in the word of God.

Here are a few recommendations I recently shared with our middle and high school students for building multigenerational friendships. The same principles work in reverse if you are an older believer. The benefits are mutual!

Ask them to tell God stories. Instead of making a beeline for friends your age, ask an older Christian to answer some simple questions. How did you become a Christian? What has God taught you about himself in the last year? What do you wish you knew about God when you were my age?
Encourage them. Write a thank-you not telling an older believer what you appreciate about their example or how you see God at work in their life.
Pray for them. Walk up to an older believer on Sunday morning and ask how you can pray for them. Pray for them right then or later on your own. The next time you see them, ask how they are doing in that specific area.
Serve them. Bless them with food. Help them with yardwork. Take them out for coffee (your time is a gift!) Provide free tech support. Be creative.
Seek counsel from them. Think about something that is hard in your life (trouble within or without) and ask an older believer what God says about your particular struggle.
Seek correction from them. If you have an existing relationship with an older Christian you trust, periodically ask if they see any areas in your life where you need to grow spiritually.

Multigenerational friendships are a gift from God. They require us to put selfishness, pride, and the fear of man to death. They take hard work, demand humility, and create vulnerability. But if we are going to know God, trust God, and persevere in obeying God, we need to pursue them!

To this end we are gathering this Sunday evening (May 16) to pray together that God will grow multigenerational relationships here at KingsWay. We would love to see you there!

Multigenerational Friendships